We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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