Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
