I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
