He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
