there's paper in my vomit.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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