Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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