he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
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Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
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Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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