I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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