And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
