it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
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I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
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Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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