Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
