Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
