Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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