omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Need sex. Gaining weight.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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