Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
