this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
