Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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