just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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