You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
