I love black thongs
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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