The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
