I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
