Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
