I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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