Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
