is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
