who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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