it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
