If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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