I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize