Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
