Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
