Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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