carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
