dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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