i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
