honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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