Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
