dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
