I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
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i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
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Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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