I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
pray to the hookup gods
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
