Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize