Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
