i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
