i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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