i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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