I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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