i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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