at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize