I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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