Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize