I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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