dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Alive.
So much puke
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
