Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
