Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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