so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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