im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
