My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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