I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
