How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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