Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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