Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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