I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Everything about him screamed your future.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
