i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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