i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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