Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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