I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
