also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
