Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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