Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
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As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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