I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
